(SCREAMING)
(GROWLING)
(SOBBING) Please don't hurt me. Please!
(SIGHS)
(GROANING)
I'm terribly sorry.
I really didn't mean to knock you all over.
(ALL GROANING)
Hello? Hello?
WHITE KING: Are you all right, my dear?
WHITE QUEEN: I think so.
WHITE QUEEN: Oh, look at me. My dress is a mess.
Hello? And I just had it made.
I really don't think they can hear me.
WHITE KING: Don't fret, my dear, I'll see to a new one at once.
Hello?
And they can't see me either.
(BABY CRYING)
WHITE QUEEN: My baby!
My precious lily! My imperial child!
Imperial fiddlesticks.
I think my nose is out of whack.
So is my sacroiliac.
WHITE QUEEN: Baby!
(SCREAMING)
Oh, my baby. My baby.
Yeah, my baby.
Oh.
Mind the tornado.
What tornado?
The one that practically blew me up.
Be careful. There's really a very strong wind.
It's gonna take you hours to get on that table if I don't help you.
(CHUCKLING) Please don't make such faces.
You're making me laugh so hard, I can hardly hold you.
(CHUCKLING)
(GROANS)
Well, I warned you about the tornado.
I've turned cold to the very end of my whiskers.
You don't have any whiskers.
The horror of what just happened to me I shall never, never forget.
Oh, my baby.
Hello again. Hello?
If they can't see me or hear me,
then they certainly won't be able to tell me anything about that terrible monster.
OWL: I can tell you about your monster.
You can? I'd be ever so grateful.
And you can see me and hear me?
Of course.
(CROW CAWING)
What happened to that monster?
Not that I'd want to meet him again.
Nothing happened to him.
That monster was a thing you created in your own mind.
My mind most certainly did not create anything like that.
I was simply reading a silly book.
I... Your fears gave birth to it.
And until you overcome those fears, little girl...
My name is Alice, Mr. Owl.
As long as you have those fears inside you, Alice,
the Jabberwocky may come for you at any time.
Well, I suppose there are some fears inside me.
But, please, I really must know
how to get back through the mirror.
Well, don't worry.
Why shouldn't I worry?
Well, there's always another way back.
And there's no point in going home
until you're not so afraid of not growing up.
Now, wait a minute. I've done a great deal of growing up,
and growing down.
When you overcome the great fear in you, then and only then,
will you be able to stop the frightening appearances of the Jabberwocky
and return to your family.
But how?
Only you know the answer to that.
I don't know.
If I knew, I would tell myself.
And you don't care, or you'd tell me!
You really would.
Oh, but I do care.
And you will see that all the creatures in Looking Glass Land care.
Why should they?
Because when the fear in you creates the Jabberwocky,
it is dangerous for all of us around here.
It is really to our best interest
if you, uh, cure these terrible afflictions by yourself.
And the best way to do it is to stay here
and listen to me for a few years.
Years? I can't even stay here for another moment.
My poor mother must be in a terrible state. Goodbye.
If you don't stay, you may never get home at all.
Well, I suppose I could stay and listen to you for a while.
In that case, I'll be on my way.
But you wanted me to stay.
Ah! But now you're in Looking Glass Land,
and everything here is backward.
The reverse of everything you expected.
But we were just beginning to talk. Just beginning to...
Yes. Yes, my dear.
But here, beginnings are endings.
(SIGHS)
Such a lovely garden.
Maybe this is the way home.
I hope.
If only flowers could talk. We can talk.
If there's anybody worth talking to.
Excuse me, can all the flowers talk?
As well as you can, and a great deal louder!
It's just not good manners for us to speak first.
But since you did before we did,
I can tell you, when I first saw you,
I thought, "This little girl has a face with some sense in it."
Though not very much.
It looks like a very clever face to me.
If only her petals curled up a little more, she might be all right.
Aren't you frightened at being planted out here
without anybody to take care of you?
There's the tree close by.
But what can it do if any danger came? It could bark.
It says, "Bow-wow." That's why its branches are called boughs.
You'd have to be pretty dense not to understand that.
(LAUGHING)
If you don't speak to me more politely, I'll...
I'll pick you.
(GASPS)
Good for you.
There's only one flower worse than the tiger lily.
The daisy. When one speaks, they all speak.
It's enough to make you faint,
the way they go on and on and on.
How is it you all talk?
I've been in many gardens before,
but none of the flowers could talk.
Put your hand down and feel the ground.
Then you'll know why.
Hmm.
It's very hard, but I don't see what that has to do with it.
In most gardens, they make the beds too soft,
so the flowers are always asleep.
(SNORING)
(GIGGLES)
I never thought of that before.
In my opinion, you never think at all.
I never saw anybody who looked more stupid...
ROSE: Hold your tongue.
As if you ever saw anybody.
You hide your head under your leaves and snore away
till you know no more of what's going on in the world than a bud.
Are there any more people in the garden besides me?
ROSE: Oh, a few.
And here comes one of the stranger ones now.
Oh, my!
The Red Queen's grown a good deal.
It's the fresh air that does it.
Excuse me. I really must go and talk to her.
Goodbye.
(SNORING)
Where did you come from?
I... I...
Look up, speak nicely,
and stop twiddling your fingers all the time.
I'm lost. I lost my way.
What do you mean, your way?
All the ways around here belong to me.
And curtsey while you're thinking of what to say.
It saves time.
I... I only wanted to see what the garden was like, Your Majesty.
I thought I'd try to find my way to the top of this hill.
ALICE: Oh!
The land. It's all marked out like a large chessboard.
RED QUEEN: Well, of course it is.
ALICE: This is all one big game of chess?
One big game that's being played all over the world?
I can't believe it.
There must be pieces moving everywhere.
I wish I was one of them.
Oh, you're going to be.
How wonderful!
I wouldn't even mind being a pawn.
Though I'd rather be a queen.
But you're going to be a pawn.
One of the White Queen's little brats is too young to play,
so you'll have to take her place.
You will be a pawn, which will start you in the second square
at the board, naturally.
I can't play. I really must be going home.
When you're a queen, you may go home.
But you said I was only going to be a pawn.
That's quite correct.
But when you reach the eighth square of the chessboard,
then, then you'll be a queen, and then you may go home.
Hurry. We'll miss everything.
Hurry where?
RED QUEEN: I'll show you!
RED QUEEN: Faster! Faster!
ALICE: I don't understand!
Don't try to talk! Faster! Faster!
(WHOOPING)
(LAUGHING)
Are we nearly there?
No! Faster! Faster!
(LAUGHING)
(SIGHING)
You may rest a little now.
(PANTING) But we haven't gotten anywhere.
If you wanted to get anywhere,
you'd have to run twice as fast as you did.
Now what are you doing?
I'm taking measurements.
At the end of three yards, I shall have some more rules for you.
And at the end of five yards, I shall go.
But can't you stay and talk a while?
Well, that does it.
I really must be going now.
If you do make it to the eighth square,
then we shall all be queens together,
and it will all be feasting and fun.
How will I get home? Tell me.
What happened to her?
Oh, my.
I will find my way home. I just know I will.
I want to get to the eighth square as quickly as possible.
Which way do I go? What do I do?
(TRAIN HORN BLOWING)
(CHUCKLING) Well, well, what have we here?
(BLEATING)
Ticket, ticket, ticket, ticket.
Ticket, ticket, ticket, ticket. Tickets, please.
Here you are.
Mmm-hmm. Mmm-hmm.
There.
Hmm.
Show your ticket.
Well, don't keep him waiting, child.
His time is worth $1,000 a minute.
I'm afraid I haven't got one.
There wasn't a ticket office where I came from.
No excuses, please.
You should've bought one from the engine driver.
(BLEATING) Ticket, ticket, ticket, ticket.
Ticket, ticket, ticket, ticket...
He means the man who drives the engine also sells the tickets.
You should've known that.
(BELL CLANGING)
There's obviously no use in even speaking to you people.
Or whatever you are.
You'd better say nothing at all then.
Around here, language is worth $1,000 a word.
I'll dream about $1,000 tonight.
I just know it.
(BLEATING)
Where are you going, child?
To square four.
Well, at least she's old enough to know where she's going,
even if she doesn't know her own name.
I know my name.
She should've known her way to the ticket office
even if she doesn't know the alphabet.
(BLEATING) I know the alphabet. I really do.
She'll have to go back from here as luggage.
(ALL LAUGHING)
No, I won't.
I don't belong on this railway journey at all.
I was in the forest just now, and I wish I could get back there.
Well, "If wishes were horses, beggars would ride."
That's an old expression.
Here's another old expression.
(EXCLAIMING)
(BOTH LAUGHING)
If you're so anxious to make a joke, why don't you make one?
I...
Well, it's the most unheard of thing I've ever heard of.
(SNORTING)
What a bunch of grouchy people you all are.
(BLEATING) We should send her on by mail.
She's got quite a stamp on her.
No, no, no. We should send her as a message by telegraph.
(LAUGHING)
Whoa!
Hold on. I think this train's out of control.
Oh, who cares? As long as it'll take me into the fourth square.
Uh, I really think I should pull an emergency cord.
There isn't an emergency cord.
There's not even a non-emergency cord.
No.
There's got to be! All trains have one.
You pull it and the train stops.
Well, there isn't, you little crybaby.
There's got to be one. There isn't.
The only thing you can pull around here is your own weight.
That's what you think.
(SCREECHING)
(HORSE NEIGHING)
(GOAT BLEATING)
Well... I must say...
(ALL PANTING)
Who stopped the train?
HORSE: She's the culprit. GENTLEMAN IN PAPER SUIT: Tattletale.
Well, how did she do it?
She yanked on his chinny chin-chin.
Almost pulled my whiskers off, she did.
Little girl, didn't you know it's against the law to stop the train?
Unless, of course, it's an emergency.
It was. The train was running away.
Oh! And who was it running away from?
That's a silly question.
And you're a silly girl.
And you're a silly-billy goat.
(LAUGHING)
She got your goat that time.
"Got your goat," that's very good.
I'm going to write that down on paper.
Next time, stay off my train.
I will!
She almost ruined my lunch.
(TRAIN HORN BLOWING)
GNAT: (SHOUTING) Hello. Hello.
Hello.
What do you want?
You look like a very nice person. A very, very nice person
who wouldn't hurt me even if I am an insect.
I can see that.
But exactly what kind of insect are you?
I'm a gnat.
But what kind of insects do they like where you come from?
Well, I don't usually like insects where I come from.
But could you please tell me if this is the fourth square?
You see, I'm on my way to the eighth square where I'll be a queen.
Why would you want to be a queen?
I guess then I'll be grown up enough to go home.
And my mother will be so glad to see me.
She'll see how grown-up I am.
Invite me to sit at tea.
Is this forest the fourth square?
Yes, but I wouldn't go in there if I were you.
Well, as long as there aren't any monsters,
I'm sure I'll be quite fine.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I really must be going.
Don't say I didn't warn you.
No, I really would never say that.
Bye.
"To Tweedledum's house."
"To the home of Tweedledee."
I suppose those two live in the same house.
Hmm.
Maybe they can tell me how to get to the eighth square.
If you think we're waxworks, you really ought to pay, you know.
Waxworks weren't made to be looked at for nothing.
I didn't know you were alive.
Contrariwise, if you think we're alive, then you should speak.
Oh, yes. I'm very sorry.
Hmm. I know what you're thinking about.
Well, it isn't so. No how.
Contrariwise, if it was so, it might be,
and if it were so, it would be, but as it isn't, it ain't.
That's logic. That's logic.
Well, I was thinking which way was the best way out of the wood.
Well, you've begun wrong.
The first thing you do in a visit is you say,
"How do you do?" And you shake hands.
BOTH: # How do you do? Shake hands
# Welcome to you Shake hands #
# It's really quite important to be proper #
# And don't you dare to be dumb #
# Or you may come a cropper
# The weather is fine Shake hands #
# The pleasure is mine Shake hands #
# And though the meeting may be fleeting #
# It's so lovely, don't you see #
# If you'll shake hands with me #
# The weather is fine Shake hands #
# The pleasure is mine Shake hands #
# And though the meeting may be fleeting #
# It's so lovely, don't you see #
# If you shake hands
# Don't be a fool Shake hands #
# If you'll shake hands
# With me! #
(GASPS)
I hope you're not too tired.
TWEEDLEDUM: Oh, no how.
But thank you very much for asking.
So much obliged.
You like poetry?
Well, some poetry.
But would you tell me which road leads out of the wood?
But I know so much poetry.
You really must stay long enough and let me entertain you.
What marvelous poem shall I recite to her?
Why, The Walrus and the Carpenter.
It's the longest.
If it's very long, would you please tell me first which road?
I mean, you're both so very exhausted.
Nonsense! Nonsense!
#(TWEEDLEDEE AND TWEEDLEDUM WHISTLING)
BOTH: # The sun was shining on the sea Shining with all his might #
# He did his very best to make the billows smooth and bright #
TWEEDLEDUM: # And this was odd, because it was the middle of the night #
BOTH: # The moon was shining sulkily because she thought the sun #
# Had got no business to be there after the day was done #
# "It's very rude of him," she said, "to come and spoil the fun!" #
TWEEDLEDUM: # The sea was wet as wet could be #
# The sands were dry as dry
# You could not see a cloud because no cloud was in the sky #
# No birds were flying overhead #
# There were no birds to fly #
#(SINGING OPERA)
#(SINGING IN HIGH-PITCH)
WALRUS: Oi!
(LAUGHING)
(GRUNTS)
# The Walrus and the Carpenter were walking close at hand #
# They wept like anything to see such quantities of sand #
# If this were only cleared away, my friend, it would be grand! #
# If seven maids with seven mops swept it for half a year #
# Do you suppose in that much time that they could get it clear? #
# I doubt it really could be done At least by me, my dear #
Oh, oh!
You see that?
# O, Oysters, come and walk with us #
# We truly do beseech
# A pleasant walk, a pleasant talk #
# Along the briny beach
# We cannot do with more than four to give a hand to each #
# The time has come, I'm quite convinced #
# To talk of many things
# Of shoes and ships and sealing wax #
# Of cabbages and kings
# And why the sea is boiling hot #
# And whether pigs have wings #
OYSTERS: # But wait a bit, if you don't mind #
# Before we have our chat
# For some of us are out of breath #
# And all of us are fat!
# We do not wish to hurry you #
OYSTERS: # We thank you much for that
# A loaf of bread and butter, too #
# Is what we chiefly need
# And vinegar and salt besides #
# Are very good indeed
# Now if you're ready, Oysters, dear #
# We can begin to feed
OYSTERS: # But not on us, if it's all the same #
# And strictly entre nous
# For after such a kindess
# What a dismal thing to do! #
# Shall we have some wine?
# The night is fine
# Do you admire the view?
# It was so kind of you to come! #
# And you are so very nice!
# Talk is cheap by the briny deep #
# Cut us another slice
# I wish you were not quite so deaf I've had to ask you twice #
# It seems a rather dreadful shame to play them such a trick #
# After we've brought them out so far and made them trot so quick #
# Say what you will, but as for me #
# The butter's spread too thick! #
Look, they're getting away.
Turn around, and get after them.
# I weep for you, my little friends I deeply sympathize #
# I sob a sob and I weep some tears #
# All those of a larger size #
# Oh, hold your pocket handkerchief before your blooming eyes #
# "O, Oysters," said the Carpenter #
# "You've had a pleasant run! #
# "Shall we be trotting home again?" #
# But the answer came there none #
# And this was scarcely odd, because #
(BOTH BURPING)
# They'd eaten every one #
They ate them all? What monsters.
(WIND HOWLING)
Oh, it's somebody's shawl.
WHITE QUEEN: Bread and butter. Bread and butter.
Bread and butter.
My shawl.
Where's my bread and butter, baby?
Oh, thank you. I've been looking for that.
Then I'm really glad I happened to be in the way.
Bread and butter. Bread and butter.
Bread and...
My hat.
Am I addressing the White Queen?
Well, yes, if you can call that a dressing.
It's not my notion of the thing at all.
If Your Majesty will only tell me the right way to begin,
I'll do it as well as I can.
May I help put your shawl on straight for you?
Please.
It's out of temper, I think.
It's in a snit.
It's peevish. It's having a fit.
I've pinned it here and I've pinned it there.
There's no pleasing it.
Well, you look better now.
But really, you should have a lady's maid.
I'll take you with pleasure.
Tuppence a week, and jam every other day.
I don't want you to hire me and I don't care for jam.
Well, it's very good jam.
Well, I don't want any today at any rate.
Well, you couldn't have it if you did want it.
The rule is "Jam tomorrow, jam yesterday,
"but never jam today."
It must come sometimes to "jam today."
No, it can't.
It's jam every other day.
Today isn't any other day, you know.
# Jam tomorrow, jam yesterday But never, ever jam today #
# I said, jam tomorrow, jam yesterday #
# But never, ever jam today
# You can wish as you want You can want as you wish #
# Still you'd better hear me say #
# Jam tomorrow, jam yesterday But never, ever jam today #
# I'm ashamed of marmalade!
# Not jelly, not honey, for love, nor money #
# Never, ever jam today
# Oh, you can wish as you want You can want as you wish #
# Still you'd better hear me say #
# Jam tomorrow, jam yesterday #
# But never, ever jam today! #
(GIGGLING)
It's dreadfully confusing.
Well, that's the effect of living backward.
It makes everyone a little giddy at first.
But there's one great advantage.
The memory works both ways.
Well, I'm sure mine only works one way.
I can't remember things before they happen.
Well, it's a poor sort of memory only works backwards.
What sort of things do you remember best?
Things that happened the week after next.
(SHOUTS)
My finger's bleeding!
(SHOUTS)
How'd that happen?
Have you stuck your finger?
Well, I haven't stuck it yet, but I soon shall.
(SCREAMING)
When do you expect to do it?
When I fasten my shawl again.
The brooch will come undone directly.
Be careful! You're holding it all crooked!
See? That accounts for the bleeding.
Now you understand the way things happen here.
How old are you?
Seven and a half exactly.
I'm just 101.
I can't believe that.
You can't?
I hope your finger's better now.
Better.
Much better.
Better.
(SHEEP BLEATING)
(WOLF HOWLING)
What a thick, black cloud that is.
I believe it's got wings.
I hope it's not...
(SQUAWKING)
It's only a giant bird.
I thought the Jabberwocky was coming back again.
(SIGHS)
It can't reach me here.
It's too large to get through the trees.
I wish it wouldn't flap its wings so.
It's like a hurricane.
It's Humpty Dumpty. It can't be anyone else.
And he looks exactly like a giant egg.
Young lady, it's not very nice to tell someone
he looks like an egg.
But some eggs are very beautiful, you know.
Some people have no more sense than a baby.
My name is Alice, sir.
That's a stupid name.
I may be stupid, sir,
but don't you think you'd be a lot safer down here on the ground?
The wall is very narrow.
Of course I don't think so.
Why, even if I did fall off, the King has promised...
To send all of his horses and all of his men
to put Humpty Dumpty back together again.
You've been snooping at doors,
or you couldn't have known that!
Oh, no. It's in a book of very famous nursery rhymes.
What a beautiful belt you've got.
Really? When a person doesn't know a cravat from a belt!
(LAUGHS)
It's a cravat, child, and a very beautiful one, I might add.
It's a present from the White King and Queen.
Really?
Yes, really.
They gave it to me for an unbirthday present just this past week.
An unbirthday present?
What's an unbirthday present?
It's a present given when it isn't your birthday, of course!
I like birthday presents best.
You don't know what you're talking about!
How many days are there in a year?
365.
And how many birthdays do you have?
One.
And if you take one from 365,
that means you can get 364 unbirthday presents.
You see, dum-dum?
Certainly.
And only one for birthday presents, you know.
Now there's glory for you.
I don't know what you mean by "glory."
Of course you don't.
Till I tell you. I mean, there's a nice knockdown argument for you.
But "glory" doesn't mean a "nice knockdown argument."
When I use a word, it means just what I choose it to mean!
Neither more nor less.
The question is
whether you can make words mean so many different things.
The question is which is to be master. That's all!
Words, they've a temper.
Hmm.
Some words, particularly verbs,
they're the proudest.
Adjectives you can do anything with, but not verbs.
However, I can manage the whole lot of them!
(LAUGHING)
Impenetrability. That's what I say.
Would you please tell me what that word means?
Now you talk like a reasonable child.
I meant by "impenetrability" that we've had enough of that subject.
And it would be just as well if you'd mention what you mean to do next,
because I suppose you don't mean to stop here all the rest of your life.
That's a great deal to make one word mean.
When I make a word do a lot of work like that,
I always pay it extra.
Mr. Dumpty, if you're going to skip and dance,
don't you really think it'd be a bit safer down here on the ground?
Actually, no! If I thought that, I'd do that!
You are a rather fearful little child, aren't you?
Mr. Dumpty, you don't understand.
I suppose I do have a lot of fears inside me.
And Mr. Owl, at least I think that was his name...
(THUNDER CLAPPING)
Mr. Dumpty, my fears are bringing back the Jabberwocky!
The Jabberwocky?
(SCREAMING)
(GROWLING)
(SCREAMING)
(GROWLING)
(SCREAMING)
Hello, little girl.
Did you happen to see my two messengers as you came through the wood?
No, Your Majesty.
Well, would you mind looking along this road here
and tell me if you can see either of them?
I see nobody on the road.
Oh. I only wish I had such eyes to be able to see nobody.
It's as much as I can do to see real people by this light.
I see somebody now!
But he's coming very slowly.
His name is Haigha.
He's an Anglo-Saxon messenger.
Listen.
I love my love with an "H" because he is happy.
I hate him with an "H" because he is hideous.
I fed him with... with...
With ham sandwiches and hay.
His name is Haigha and he lives...
He lives on the hill.
My other messenger's called Hatter.
I must have two, you know, to come and go.
One to come and one to go. Oh, yes.
I beg your pardon?
It isn't respectable to beg.
(SCREAMING) Your Majesty.
You frightened me!
I feel faint. Give me a ham sandwich. Nothing but hay left now.
Well, hay then. Okay.
There's nothing like eating hay when you feel faint.
I think throwing cold water over you would be better.
I didn't say there was nothing better,
I said there was nothing like it.
(SNEEZING)
Who did you pass on the road?
I'll whisper it.
(SHOUTING) They're at it again!
Do you call that a whisper?
Who's at it again?
Why, the Lion and the Unicorn, of course.
Let's run and see them.
Oh, no, please.
I really must be getting on my way.
BOTH: # The Lion and the Unicorn were fighting for the crown #
# The Lion beat the Unicorn all around the town #
But you don't understand, I really must be going home.
# La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la #
(HITE KING AND MESSENGER SCATTING)
ALL: # The Lion and the Unicorn were fighting for the crown #
# The Lion beat the Unicorn all around the town #
Play!
# Some gave them white bread and some gave them brown #
# And some gave them plum cake and drummed them out of town #
# And drummed them out of town And drummed them out of town #
# And drummed them out of
# Town
(ALL SCATTING)
# The Lion and the Unicorn
# Were fighting for the
# Crown! #
Does the one that wins always get the crown?
(SCOFFING) Dear me, no, what an idea.
(EXCLAIMS)
(ALL CLAMORING)
(GROWLING)
(GROANING IN PAIN)
Oh, my!
All right, all right!
Ten minutes allowed for refreshments!
(LAUGHING) I don't think they're gonna fight anymore today.
I should hope not.
Go order the drums to begin.
You know, boom-boom, boom.
I had the best of it this time!
You shouldn't have run him through with your horn.
UNICORN: It didn't hurt him.
What is this?
WHITE KING: A child. We only found it today.
It's as large as life and twice as natural.
A child?
But I... I... I always thought that children were fabulous monsters.
Is... Is it alive?
Oh, yes. It can even talk.
This is incredible. Talk, child.
(ALL GASPING) Well,
do you know I always thought unicorns were fabulous monsters, too?
(SNICKERING)
Though I never saw one alive before.
Well, now that we have seen one another,
if you'll believe in me, I'll believe in you.
Is it a bargain?
Yes, if you like.
That'd be rather pleasant.
(NEIGHING)
(RASPING)
Are you animal,
vegetable,
or mineral?
You dum-dum!
I already told you she's a fabulous monster!
Then hand round the cake, monster.
ALICE: Yes, sir. Right away, sir.
May I please have the cake?
Be careful.
If you drop it, the lion will eat you.
I wouldn't do that.
Yet!
Please don't say that.
You're making me nervous.
You'd better hurry.
He's very short-tempered.
Don't do what he says, monster.
Don't listen to him. Cut the cake!
And I say "Don't!" And I say "Do!"
What a fight we might have for the crown now, sir!
Oh, and I will surely win.
Oh, I don't think so.
Why, I'll beat you all around the town, you cluck chicken!
All around the town, eh?
Ha! Well, that's a good long way.
Will you go by the old bridge or by the marketplace?
The best view is by the old bridge.
(CHORTLING)
Cut the cake.
(ALL LAUGHING)
The monster's having an awful time trying to cut that cake.
I've cut it twice, but it just seems to go back together again.
You don't know how to serve Looking Glass cake?
Hand it round first, then cut it afterwards!
(ALL LAUGHING)
(SHOUTING)
Now cut the cake!
This isn't fair. The monster has given the lion twice as much as me.
LION: Well, she's kept none for herself, anyhow.
Do you like plum cake, monster?
Well...
#(DRUMS BEATING)
What is that sound?
Oh!
What is that sound? What is it?
I don't understand!
What is it?
If that noise doesn't drum everybody out of town, nothing ever will.
(HOOVES CLOMPING)
MAN: Ahoy! Ahoy!
(MARSHALLING)
Wow.
(NEIGHING)
Check. You're my prisoner.
MAN 2: Ahoy! Hey! Hey!
(MAN 2 MARSHALLING)
Check.
She's my prisoner, you know.
Yes, but then I came and rescued her.
Well, then we must fight for her.
You will observe the rules of battle, of course.
I always do.
(BOTH SHOUTING)
There are so many fights in Looking Glass Land.
(HORSES NEIGHING)
Check.
It was a glorious victory, wasn't it?
(LAUGHING)
I don't know.
I don't wanna be anybody's prisoner.
I just know I must become a queen
if I'm ever to get home again.
And you will.
When you have crossed the next brook,
you will definitely be a queen.
I will see you safe to the end of the wood.
Then I must go back, you know.
Yes, that is the end of my move.
Thank you very much.
Come. I'll get you on your way.
All right.
You can go ahead, lead me.
All right. Come on. Come on.
All right, to the end of the wood.
I hope you've got your hair well fastened on.
Only in the usual way.
Oh, that's not good enough.
No, you see, the wind is so very strong here.
It's as strong as, uh, uh, soup.
But I have a plan for keeping your hair from falling off.
Well, I should like to hear it very much.
Well, you see, the reason hair falls off is because it hangs down.
(CHUCKLING) Things never fall upwards, you know.
This is a plan of my own invention.
You might try it if you like.
First, you take an upright stick.
Oh, there's one.
(HORSE NEIGHING)
I hope no bones are broken.
None to speak of.
The great art of riding, as I was saying, is to keep your balance.
How can you keep on talking head downward?
What does it matter where my body happens to be?
My mind goes on working all the same.
In fact, the more head downwards I am,
the more I keep inventing new things.
Like this song I am about to sing to you.
Is it long?
Because you said you would see me to the end of the wood.
That I shall.
I take your hand.
I understand.
And we are dancing.
Without a word, it seems absurd.
# But we are dancing
# We didn't need a cue
# Yet with a girl like you
# It seems the thing to do
# Don't you agree?
Yes, I do.
# I hear the strings My poor heart sings #
# And we are dancing
# We share a smile, and for a while #
# We two are dancing
# If ever time
# Should bring another year
# Another spring
# They'll be compared
# To what I've shared
# With you
# I hear the strings My poor heart sings #
# And we are dancing
# We share a smile, and for a while #
# We two are dancing
# If ever time should bring
# Another year
# Another spring
# They'll be compared
# To what I've shared
# With you #
Oh!
Now, you've only a few yards to go.
Down the hill and over the brook, and then you will be a queen.
Then I just know I'll be home, I just know it.
But you will stay to see me off first, won't you? I shan't be long.
And if you simply wave your handkerchief,
it will encourage me very much.
All the finest damsels do that sort of thing.
Of course I'll wait.
And thank you very much for saving me.
Farewell, fair maiden.
Farewell, gallant knight.
Oops.
I hope I encouraged him a little.
This must be the eighth square.
I'm so happy to get here.
What is this on my head?
Now how in the world did this crown get on my head
without me knowing it?
Oh, but this is wonderful!
I never expected to be a queen so soon.
Now, I'll tell you what this means, Your Majesty.
It'll never do for you to be rolling around on the grass anymore.
Queens have to be very dignified, you know.
And if I really am a queen,
I shall be able to manage it quite well in time.
I just know it.
Please, would you tell me how I might...
Speak when you're spoken to.
If everybody obeyed that rule,
nobody would ever say anything.
Ridiculous.
I overheard you saying to yourself, "If I really am a queen..."
What right have you to call yourself anything of the sort?
I'm sure I didn't mean to...
That's just what I'm complaining about!
You should have meant it.
What do you suppose is the good of a child without meaning?
Even a joke has some meaning.
Well, she's in that state of mind
that she wants to deny something,
only she doesn't know what to deny.
A nasty, vicious temper!
Now, my dear White Queen,
let me invite you to Alice's dinner party this afternoon.
And I invite you.
Now, if you'll pardon me!
I didn't know I was giving a dinner party at all.
But if there's going to be one,
I think I ought to invite the guests, don't you?
We gave you the opportunity of doing it,
but you didn't invite anybody.
It's obvious you never had any lessons in manners.
(SIGHING) Manners aren't taught in lessons.
Lessons teach addition, subtraction
and things of that sort.
Well, then, I have a lesson for you.
# Can you do addition?
# What is one and one and one and one #
# And one and one and one and one and two? #
# Can you do subtraction?
# Eight from nine and two from eight and six from three and one from seven, too #
# Can you do division?
# Six divided by a three and then a two #
# Yes, you
# Can you multiply, my dear?
# Then what are three times six and two times ten, and then again #
# Addition
# Subtraction
# Division
# Multiplication!
# Can you do addition?
# What is one and one and one and one #
# And one and one and one and one and two? #
# Can you do subtraction?
# Eight from nine and two from eight and six from three and one from seven, too #
# Can you do division?
# Six divided by a three and then a two #
# Yes, you!
# Can you multiply, my dear?
# Then what are three times six and two times ten, and then again #
# Forget your slumbers, recall your numbers #
# Just add up the list
# Just think of pluses and of minuses #
# It's sure to clear your sinuses #
# We simply must insist! #
Well, Alice, what's your answer?
I don't know. I lost count.
Well, then. Of course, you do know your ABC's?
Sure, I do.
So do I.
Oh, we shall have such glorious times together
saying the alphabet over and over.
Can you answer useful questions?
How is bread made?
I know that.
First, you take some flour...
(SNICKERING)
But where do you pick the flower?
It isn't picked at all, it's ground.
RED QUEEN: Oh, fan her.
She's probably just feverish from all this thinking.
Do you know languages?
What is French for "fiddle-de-dee"?
I'll tell you what.
If you'll tell me what language "fiddle-de-dee" is,
I'll tell you the French for it.
Queens never make bargains.
I wish queens never asked questions.
Well, here's a question with an answer.
Is life just a giant game of chess?
I assure you, the answer is yes.
Do you mean something is moving us about?
That's for me to know and you to find out.
# Is the ocean as level as a pool? #
# Well, to think so you'd have to be a fool #
# There are millions of waves in an ocean #
# So something obviously keeps them all in motion #
# And do you stand motionless, my girl? #
# No, you constantly are running in a whirl #
# But since you've come uninvited for this visit #
# I should think that you'd be wondering #
# What is it?
(SIGHING)
# Should I reveal to you the secret, my dear? #
Yes, Your Majesty, that's what I want to hear.
# When the world seems full of trouble and of strife #
# What moves us through this
# Crazy game of life?
# Emotions
# They're much stronger
# than magical potions
# They make us behave
# as we do
# You may like it or not
# But it's true
# Emotions
# When we smile or we frown
# That is why
# Some are good
# Some are bad
# Some are sweet
# Some are sad
# Can't escape them
# However we try
# We've emotions, my dear
# Till we
# die #
Oh, poor thing. She's tired.
Smooth her hair, lend her your nightcap,
and sing her a soothing lullaby.
I haven't got a nightcap with me
and I don't know any soothing lullabies.
But if you'd only tell me how I might go home,
I'd be certain to get you anything you need.
I promise you I would, I truly would.
Oh, I must do it myself.
(SNORING)
# Hush-a-bye, lady
# In Alice's lap
# Till the feast's ready
# We've time for a nap
# When the feast's over
# We'll go to the ball
# Red Queen
# And White Queen
# And Alice
# And
# All #
(SNORING)
Mother, Father,
will I ever see you again?
#(MUSIC PLAYING)
# To the Looking Glass world It was Alice that said #
# I've a scepter in hand I've a crown on my head #
# Let the Looking Glass creatures, whatever they be #
# Come and dine
# With the Red Queen, the White Queen and me #
# Then fill up the glasses as quick as you can #
# And sprinkle the table with buttons and bran #
# Put cats in the coffee, and mice in the tea #
# Welcome Queen Alice with thirty times three #
# Oh, Looking Glass creatures I pray, draw near #
# 'Tis an honor to see me, a favor to hear #
# 'Tis a privilege high to have dinner and tea #
# With the Red Queen, the White Queen and me! #
# Then fill up all the glasses with treacle and ink #
# Or anything else that is pleasant to drink #
# Mix sand with the cider and wool with the wine #
# And welcome Queen Alice
# With ninety times nine
(ALL CHEERING)
# Then fill up all the glasses with treacle and ink #
# Or anything else that is pleasant to drink #
# Mix sand with the cider and wool with the wine #
# And welcome Queen Alice
# With ninety times nine #
RED QUEEN: Welcome, Queen Alice!
ALICE: Thank you.
We drink to your health.
Good idea. To Queen Alice's health!
KING OF HEARTS: Hear, hear! ALL: Hear, hear!
(ALL CHATTERING)
You ought to return your appreciation in a neat speech.
We're only teaching you the very basics of proper behavior.
Oh, yes, dear.
If you were ever invited to tea anywhere,
you'll need to know these little pleasantries.
It's proper that you should know about proper behavior.
I... I thank you all.
But please, everyone, show me how I go home.
I don't want to be here anymore.
All I want to do is to go home.
I've never heard such a thing in my life!
What nerve! Ingrate! Did you hear...
(ALL CHATTERING)
Well, I... MAN: Ridiculous!
BOTH: A present's come for you, dear.
For me?
(GROWLING)
(SCREAMING)
(ALL SCREAMING)
(ALL CLAMORING)
(JABBERWOCKY GROWLING)
(PEOPLE SCREAMING)
(SCREAMING)
Off with his head! Off with his head!
By Jove! I certainly scared him off, my dear.
(SCREAMING)
(GROWLING)
I'm coming, fair maiden. I'm coming!
Have no fear. The White Knight is here!
No! Go back! He'll kill you! He really will!
I'll save you, fair maiden. Do not be afraid!
(EXCLAIMS)
(GRUNTING)
Go, fair maiden! Go, I'll hold the monster off.
Go, I say! Save yourself!
(GRUNTING)
(THUNDER CLAPPING)
Please help me, Mr. Owl.
I don't know what to do.
Don't let the monster hurt my friends.
You ask me, but it's you that must be brave.
I am brave!
But not that brave.
Then you will never grow up, will you, Alice?
Until you conquer the fears inside you,
you will never be more than a child.
Home?
(ALICE SCREAMING)
(GROWLING)
Go away! Go away! I'm not afraid of you!
You're a fake, like the owl said!
You're a fake!
I've grown up now!
I don't believe in you!
(GROWLING)
(ECHOING) I don't believe in you!
MOTHER: Alice!
Alice?
There you are, Alice.
I've been calling you for some time, dear.
Where on Earth have you been?
Oh, so many places, Mother.
I have so much to tell you.
But you really won't believe half of it.
So I'll only tell you a few things. Like, one time, I had to sit...
I'm sorry, dear. I'm afraid it's teatime now,
but I'd love to hear all about it later.
Is it? Is it really?
Is it really what?
Teatime?
Yes. Yes, it is.
We're having strawberry shortcake.
And your father bought gingerbread cookies
and Aunt Dorothy's insisted on opening
one of her precious jars of raspberry preserves.
It sounds very lovely, Mother.
But why were you calling me?
Ah. I almost forgot.
I wanted to tell you that your father and I think
you're finally quite grown up enough to join us.
Would you like that, Alice?
To join the grownups at tea?
Yes, Mother. I should like that very much.
Thank you. Thank you.
I truly have grown up, Mother. You'll see. You truly will.
Well, you run along now and get ready.
VOICES: # Alice, can you hear us?
# Can you see us?
# Alice, tell us, can you hear us? #
# Alice
# Ooh, ooh
# Alice
# Can you hear us, Alice?
# Can you see us, dear girl?
# Here in Wonderland
# We have known you
# Only for a dream or two
# But here
# We remember you
# Oh, Alice
# Don't forget us, Alice
# If you let us, we'll prove
# Dreams can all come true
# Someday
# through a mirror you'll get a clearer view #
# Till then
# Alice, we love you #